goin' to the big city(!)

I went to Cedar Rapids with K today. We shopped at Steve & Barry's, which was a little too good to be true. Everything in the store was nine bucks. I bought three things for my sister, and two things for myself. As long as the purchases for others outweigh purchases for self, I figure that Christmas time personal splurging is okay. S & B's apparently maxed out* our karma though, because we spent the following hour and a half searching for and finding two different Indian restaurants that upon eventual discovery... were closed. We then opted for an establishment called "Sushi House" which made us both want to throw up. The sensation of wanting to throw up led to a rather sketchy stop in Brandon, Iowa (Home of A Very Large Frying Pan), where we peed in a "Kwik Trip" that I'm pretty sure is going to be featured in Saw 5.

It was an extremely fun day.

*Speaking of maxing things out, one of my favorite Life Stories of all time happened in New Orleans in 2006. Clutching neon green hand grenades, SD and myself attempted to rebuild the city of Nola through the purchase of excessively priced souvenirs. At one particular establishment, SD's card was declined. So she tried another. And another. All declined. Although most people would be visibly flustered in this situation, SD calmly sipped her hand grenade, motioned toward my wallet, turned to the cashier and said: Oops. I maxed out.

RANDOM MONDAY NIGHT MUSINGS:

1. Hugs and love for the random girlfriend on The Real Housewives of Orange County who just pointed out that one mother's expectations for her children are particularly gendered in nature.
2. Final grades have been submitted. It was an A- sorta semester. That's what happens when you grade under the influence of Cup Of Joe's.
   
3. There is a sign near the condiments and other food amenities in Maucker Union at UNI that says: We have switched to a "greener" napkin. Please pull carefully as they tear easily. Every time I read this sign, I make a slight alteration in my head: We have switched to a "greener" napkin because they are cheaper. Please pull carefully as they tear easily because they are shitty.
4. Glamour magazine (which is on my highly preferred reading list) did a story about the fiance of a sex offender that was arrested for soliciting sex to a fake 14 year-old virgin on Dateline: To Catch A Predator. The woman decided to stay with the offender despite having two daughters, aged 11 and 13. In fact, she married him during her lunch break less than a month after the Dateline incident went down. My favorite part of the story was on page 187, when the woman revealed that in 2003, she was briefly addicted to crystal meth.
5. Clearly, I am watching the Real Housewives right now. A 21 year old without a job just got a fairly large tattoo with his mother's credit card. The mother asked her 7 year old what he thought about the tattoo. He said: "Um. BAD." Like, duh, Mom.

Speaking of moms, I'm going home tomorrow night. A and I are leaving for Des Moines (where all the prettiest girls live) at 2 a.m. We fly out at 5 and will be in L.A. by 9. I get that prickly feeling under my eyes when I think about it.

--buelsy (back to l.a.)

parenthesis and pants.

Last night I realized that the last couple of months have been strangely reminiscent of my first year at UCLA, almost completely because of my speechies. I used to lay on the ground in the hallways in Hedrick Hall (3 North, Baby!), and talk to people I loved for hours, regardless of the hours worth of homework I had to do. I'm pretty much doing the same thing now, only I get to sit in my office or peruse the squadroom. Yay for moving up, and yay for reliving the very, very best of times (Cheers, Charles Dickens). In example, last night I almost peed on myself when Anna McD literally appeared out of a trash can and I literally ran away (similar to that time I tried to go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is a horrible, horrible movie). I have not laughed that hard for a long time (or been so near to heart failure). There you go, Emmap. I totally blogged about it.

Christmas break cannot come too soon, but the above realization is going make it full of miss-age. I think that's one of the two best benefits of Facebook: 1) alleviation of school break friend miss-age, and 2) flat out stalking.

Thank God for academia and weeks that kinda* end on Thursday. Only two assignments and fourteen and a half hours left.

*This weekend, we (as in Baby Thesis** and me) are trying a new plan: the library.
**SD is helping me brainstorm for a Thesis name. Sadly, they don't have books of options for these things. Results coming soon.

--buelsy (ready to take a big, fat sleeping pill)

caramel apple coma.

My new favorite thing to do is print out my Google Calendar and cross things out with blue marker when I finish them. The physicality of it makes me feel like I'm actually getting somewhere in life. I also like caramel apples. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

HUGE PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD: package delivery. Let's face it, most of the package-receiving world works from roughly nine o'clock until five o'clock Monday through Friday. It is very likely that they will not be home to receive their packages. Worse yet, a missed package generally not available to be picked up until shortly before the pick-up location closes. This creates a very small window of pick-up opportunity, often resulting in two or three more days of this unproductive cycle. Based on these sad facts, I propose a new system of package delivery. When something is ordered online or via catalog (who does that?), the eager customer will be given the opportunity to specify their package for "delivery" or "pick up." "Delivery" will be an exact replica of the crappy system as it now exists, available for use by those few lucky souls who are happy with the status quo. In the "pick up" option, however, the package will come to the nearest UPS, FedEx or Royal Air Mail* location. Upon its arrival, the customer will be emailed, and they can pick it up at their convenience... say, their lunch break that very day. I don't know about you, but I firmly believe this change would make the world a better place. In fact, let's move it to Number One on the Que of World Change. Forget Africa. Forget world peace.

* I ordered something from England. It's brilliant. Check it out.

PLANS FOR FRIDAY, MY DESIGNATED DAY FOR "MENTAL SANITY"

• Make a small exception to the Friday-No-School Rule and work on c-h stuff until approximately 3:00 a.m.
• Sleep.
• Work out.
• Watch Gilmore Girls while doing Girl Stuff.
• Do Girl Stuff: take a bath, do nails, put on good smelling lotion, blow dry hair, apply new (and over-priced) make-up, put on an "outfit."
• Girl Stuff pretty much includes everything in the way of personal care that is usually sacrificed for academia.
  
• Wander the aisles of Target with no general purpose.
• Call J.
  
• Call Snakemouth.
• Call San Diego.
  
• Eat Thai Food with A.
• Drink wine.
• Play with cats.
  
• Watch Transformers and Knocked Up (Thank you, Netflix. I do adore you.)
• Sleep more.

I love Fridays, but they go by very fast. Kind of like summers and Christmas. They are glimpses of the nice parts of life.

--buelsy (back to the books for twelve more hours)