goin' to the big city(!)

I went to Cedar Rapids with K today. We shopped at Steve & Barry's, which was a little too good to be true. Everything in the store was nine bucks. I bought three things for my sister, and two things for myself. As long as the purchases for others outweigh purchases for self, I figure that Christmas time personal splurging is okay. S & B's apparently maxed out* our karma though, because we spent the following hour and a half searching for and finding two different Indian restaurants that upon eventual discovery... were closed. We then opted for an establishment called "Sushi House" which made us both want to throw up. The sensation of wanting to throw up led to a rather sketchy stop in Brandon, Iowa (Home of A Very Large Frying Pan), where we peed in a "Kwik Trip" that I'm pretty sure is going to be featured in Saw 5.

It was an extremely fun day.

*Speaking of maxing things out, one of my favorite Life Stories of all time happened in New Orleans in 2006. Clutching neon green hand grenades, SD and myself attempted to rebuild the city of Nola through the purchase of excessively priced souvenirs. At one particular establishment, SD's card was declined. So she tried another. And another. All declined. Although most people would be visibly flustered in this situation, SD calmly sipped her hand grenade, motioned toward my wallet, turned to the cashier and said: Oops. I maxed out.

RANDOM MONDAY NIGHT MUSINGS:

1. Hugs and love for the random girlfriend on The Real Housewives of Orange County who just pointed out that one mother's expectations for her children are particularly gendered in nature.
2. Final grades have been submitted. It was an A- sorta semester. That's what happens when you grade under the influence of Cup Of Joe's.
   
3. There is a sign near the condiments and other food amenities in Maucker Union at UNI that says: We have switched to a "greener" napkin. Please pull carefully as they tear easily. Every time I read this sign, I make a slight alteration in my head: We have switched to a "greener" napkin because they are cheaper. Please pull carefully as they tear easily because they are shitty.
4. Glamour magazine (which is on my highly preferred reading list) did a story about the fiance of a sex offender that was arrested for soliciting sex to a fake 14 year-old virgin on Dateline: To Catch A Predator. The woman decided to stay with the offender despite having two daughters, aged 11 and 13. In fact, she married him during her lunch break less than a month after the Dateline incident went down. My favorite part of the story was on page 187, when the woman revealed that in 2003, she was briefly addicted to crystal meth.
5. Clearly, I am watching the Real Housewives right now. A 21 year old without a job just got a fairly large tattoo with his mother's credit card. The mother asked her 7 year old what he thought about the tattoo. He said: "Um. BAD." Like, duh, Mom.

Speaking of moms, I'm going home tomorrow night. A and I are leaving for Des Moines (where all the prettiest girls live) at 2 a.m. We fly out at 5 and will be in L.A. by 9. I get that prickly feeling under my eyes when I think about it.

--buelsy (back to l.a.)

summer always makes us forget.

Well, it's official: life sucks and will continue to suck for the next four and a half months. It started snowing/icing/hailing/raining early this morning and now Christmas Island is a miserable place to be unless you can stay home, watch movies, and drink hot chocolate. I'm planning to do my fair share of these activities tonight (thank you, Netflix!), but until then, I have to be at school with the baby. Sad times.

RANDOM FACTS FOR THE DAY
1. There are two approaches to eating apples: as a whole, or in pieces. I am an advocate for the latter. It just tastes better.

2. Only 18 days until California.

3. Today has made it clear that I need new snow boots. I have been coveting these, but they are ridiculously expensive, and I've had to settle for putting these on my Christmas List. A calls them sl-uggs. Ha.

4. I failed in my attempt to go to the library. With the all the above mentioned weather suckage, my cozy-ish office is as good as it's gonna get.

5. The plan is going well so far. I like it.

--buelsy (snow in her socks)

happy turkey.

A and I are in Chicago for Thanksgiving with my extended family. Getting here was anything but pleasant. The four hour trip became seven hours thanks to snow, slush, and my unusually slow storm driving (I'M FROM CALIFORNIA, DAMMIT!). Now that we're here though, we're having good time, except for missing the peeps in Simi Valley pretty bad. Consolation on that note: the Christmas trip is less than a month away. Freak out on that note: Two thesis chapter due dates are less than a month away. Do we hear an eek? Eek.

The Midwest Winter Bulge is rearing its ugly head, which means that after this trip, I will be eating tuna fish, oatmeal and lean cuisines like nobody's business. This also means that I will be having an extraordinary, pants-buttons-bursting goodbye session with all other foods this afternoon.

Hillary Clinton on Sunday. There are benefits to living in Christmas Island.

--buelsy (has a date with a boy and a bird).

roller coaster madness.

Wow. Back from NCA, which was a pretty cool and also pretty intense experience. Nonstop brain explosion for 5 days. A and I tried to decide on descriptive themes for the experience. Mine? NCA 2007: How to save $175*. His? NCA 2007: Resort to Violence. HA. We're heading back to Chicago on Wednesday for Thanksgiving. Getting ready for yet another trip means that my life should be ranking about an 8 on the buelsy productivity scale today. However, there are other things I would like to do that are neither prudent nor affordable, but nonetheless very very tempting.

*I definitely did not register for this experience. I knew the "poor grad student card" would serve me well some day.

LIST OF THINGS THAT WOULD BE LOVELY IF DONE TODAY:
1. Shop for new clothes. I need long sleeves!
2. Watch three to four movies.
3. Put up Christmas lights and Christmas tree.
4. Knit hats.
5. Make artsy-fartsy Christmas cards.
6. Work on new Oral Comm. packet for Fall 2008.

LIST OF THINGS THAT MUST BE DONE FOR LIFE SURVIVAL TODAY:
1. Clean Messy Manor and the clothes of its inhabitants.
2. Work her not-super-skinny ass out.
3. Edit Methods Chapter for C-H.
4. Grade.
5. Read/Write Poli. Comm. textbook review.
6. Pay utilities bill.

Thankfully, there are a few cross over things on these lists that must be done but are also mildly enjoyable. Like working out, grading and paying utilities bills. Good places to get started.

--buelsy (she thinks she can, she thinks she can).

weekend edition #2

Originally composed by A and buelsy at Toad's on Main Street, in downtown Christmas Island:

REASONS WHY MCDONALD'S SHOULD SERVE BREAKFAST 24-7

1. Because it's amazing.
2. Equal breakfast opportunity for night owls who wake up after 10:30 a.m., but zonk out again before 4:00 a.m. (Nearly every college student in America)
3. Decrease in road rage in evening rush hour commuters who consume Micky D's. Sugar makes you high.
   
4. The enticement of breakfast at night will actually lure drunkies away from bars before they drink beyond the point of no return.

REASONS WHY MCDONALD'S SHOULD POTENTIALLY NOT BREAKFAST 24-7

1. America becomes even more obese and eventually explodes.
2. Mom and pop diners lose customers. Who wants to eat a slightly-more-expensive breakfast with mom and pop when you can have a Sausage McGriddle?
3. The increase of supply will decrease the demand for McDonald's breakfast. It just tastes better when it's hard to get.
   
4. Quality decreases by an even greater degree of mass production of breakfast sandwiches.

SLIGHTLY NON-SEQUITOR, BUT VERY CLEAR CONCLUSION TO THE DEBATE: Sausage McGriddles. They make us happy.

In other news, the weekend went by fast. I've only crossed off about two of the thirty things on my agenda (thank you, Google Calendar). My propsectus has to be out by tomorrow. Messy Manor is even messier than usual. A is glum. I guess I'm a little glum too. Sundays are just like that.

--buelsy (but look at the trees!)

caramel apple coma.

My new favorite thing to do is print out my Google Calendar and cross things out with blue marker when I finish them. The physicality of it makes me feel like I'm actually getting somewhere in life. I also like caramel apples. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

HUGE PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD: package delivery. Let's face it, most of the package-receiving world works from roughly nine o'clock until five o'clock Monday through Friday. It is very likely that they will not be home to receive their packages. Worse yet, a missed package generally not available to be picked up until shortly before the pick-up location closes. This creates a very small window of pick-up opportunity, often resulting in two or three more days of this unproductive cycle. Based on these sad facts, I propose a new system of package delivery. When something is ordered online or via catalog (who does that?), the eager customer will be given the opportunity to specify their package for "delivery" or "pick up." "Delivery" will be an exact replica of the crappy system as it now exists, available for use by those few lucky souls who are happy with the status quo. In the "pick up" option, however, the package will come to the nearest UPS, FedEx or Royal Air Mail* location. Upon its arrival, the customer will be emailed, and they can pick it up at their convenience... say, their lunch break that very day. I don't know about you, but I firmly believe this change would make the world a better place. In fact, let's move it to Number One on the Que of World Change. Forget Africa. Forget world peace.

* I ordered something from England. It's brilliant. Check it out.

PLANS FOR FRIDAY, MY DESIGNATED DAY FOR "MENTAL SANITY"

• Make a small exception to the Friday-No-School Rule and work on c-h stuff until approximately 3:00 a.m.
• Sleep.
• Work out.
• Watch Gilmore Girls while doing Girl Stuff.
• Do Girl Stuff: take a bath, do nails, put on good smelling lotion, blow dry hair, apply new (and over-priced) make-up, put on an "outfit."
• Girl Stuff pretty much includes everything in the way of personal care that is usually sacrificed for academia.
  
• Wander the aisles of Target with no general purpose.
• Call J.
  
• Call Snakemouth.
• Call San Diego.
  
• Eat Thai Food with A.
• Drink wine.
• Play with cats.
  
• Watch Transformers and Knocked Up (Thank you, Netflix. I do adore you.)
• Sleep more.

I love Fridays, but they go by very fast. Kind of like summers and Christmas. They are glimpses of the nice parts of life.

--buelsy (back to the books for twelve more hours)

break-ups and blogsounds.

I woke up this morning, went to take a shower, and discovered that there was no water to be had in Messy Manor (apart from A's many and scattered half-full water bottles). It really threw me off. Kinda like getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Only the shower. In consequence, I have a paper to re-write, five million things to read, three classes to plan, and a prospectus to finish editing. In short: Good bye, weekend. It was nice when we were together. Maybe it'll work out again someday. But right now, I think we should just see other people. You? You'll see happy people with lots of free time. Me? I'll see dead or distant writers who fail to communicate clearly. It's okay. Better to have loved and lost, right?

MENTAL DEVIATIONS FROM WRITING THE UNSUCCESSFUL PAPER FOR C-H:

1. Most over-used word in scholarly writing: notion

2. Favorite new scholarly writers: Moya and Blankenship

• How much would you love it if more authoritative sources talked in every day language? (AKA colloquialism as a marketing strategy.) I'll write about it.

• For instance, imagine a little window popping up on your computer that reads: “Firefox doesn’t know what to do :( ”

• I find great comfort/joy in adding words to my Microsoft Word Dictionary. Language can be conquered! Boo-yah!
  

• In California I drive slowly (occasionally) out of fear of getting egregiously expensive tickets. In Iowa, I drive slowly (almost always) because I’m afraid I’m going to hit a deer.

--buelsy (one foot in the shower)

maniacal candy eating gets the job done.

PARTICULARLY RELEVANT ISSUES FOR OCTOBER 16, 2007:

1. I can't stop eating candy. Every time I think I'm over candy, the "over-ness" only lasts for about five minutes, and then an alert in my brain goes off saying (in a startling good impression of Willy Wonka): "There are things in this world made purely of sugar! You're an adult! You can consume them whenever you want!" And then I cave. I mean, come on... it's candy.

2. I love blogs--I need blogs, but I have found it nearly impossible in the past to maintain one. Nonetheless, at this point in my life, when thesis writing is pretty much like breathing (if you're not doing anything else, you better be doing this!), I've found that non-academic writing is actually a pretty good mental warm-up to the beautiful headache that is Judith Butler, Gayatri Spivak, Karlyn Kohrs Campbell and me. That being said, I'm going to make a concerted effort to start blogging on a semi-regular, if not actually regular basis. We'll see.

LIFE HAPPENINGS WORTHY OF MENTION:

• Plane tickets to California for Christmas: Purchased.

• Wikipedia research on the making of the Internet: Contrary to popular belief, Al Gore did not invent it. Guess he got the Nobel Prize for something else.

• Snakemouth (my partner in crime) is coming to visit me in a little more than a week: Ridiculous amounts of excitement.

• Prospectus Committee Meeting: Scheduled for Wednesday, October 31st at 1:30 p.m. There will be candy.

• Gave in and bought new make-up from Bare Escentuals: UPS, move your butt.

QUANDARIES AND CONJECTURE:

Q: I need new music.
C: Multiple choice testing is ridiculous.
Q: The bathroom is very far from my office. This is a quandary without remedy, but still worthy of public gripe.
C: I have the best speech team in the world (They virtually destroyed at a TCFL tournament in MN today). I heart them.
Q: There's a paper that needs to be written. Sadly, by me.
C: Loving A even more than usual.

--buelsy (walking in socks at the university of northern iowa).