christmas break and all that jazz.

I'm in Los Angeles until January 7. As usual, it's a ridiculously good time, but geez louise: I NEED A NAP. There's something extremely exhausting about this city. I think it might stem from the idea that Los Angeles is filled with endless possibilities. If you want to go to the beach, you go to the beach. If you want to go to the mountains, you go to the mountains. If you want to put on a zebra striped tube top, drink 8 dollar beers and watch a bad reggae band play bad reggae music, you go right ahead. Everything in the world is approximately 3 freeways and 35 minutes away.

I have to admit that I miss living in a place with such limitless potential. I think that having that much accessibility is pretty inspiring. When I'm here, I feel like I can do anything, and by extension, BE anything. But on the flip side (and you know how I love flip sides), being here also reminds me of how tired I was when I lived in L.A. I used to be able to fall asleep anywhere. One of my favorite places to nap used to be in drive-through car washes. I loved the way the water blurred the windows on my car and made it literally impossible to see. I liked how the noise drowned out everything else. I paid a buck fifty every week for at least two years to run my car through a crappy car wash. Those 5 minute naps were totally worth it.

The focus of this city is always on what's going to happen next, and rarely on what's happening in the moment. And something I've realized in the past few years is that I'm pretty fond of moments.

--buelsy (catching some zzz's)

finals week blues.

I went to Hobby Lobby (best described as an arts and crafts explosion) today to buy wrapping paper and ribbon. While I was in line waiting to check out, I overheard a conversation between the checker and the customer in front of me. Now, you'd think that most conversations that occur in places like Hobby Lobby are centered around arts and crafts explosions or who hates who at the sewing circle. This one was different. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it was the most intense conversation I have ever overheard.

The two ladies clearly knew each other from long ago but hadn't seen each other for quite some time. The customer began by telling the checker that she has been diagnosed as terminally ill. It all started with a cough, and now she has decided to spend the rest of her time doing the things she likes doing. She talked a little bit about her children, one who has a prestigious job, the other who is fat. The checker responded with very genuine sympathy and then proceeded to talk about her own children who are both divorced. The way that she said divorced was a little bit heartbreaking. Her entire face fell and her shoulders hunched as she explained that her son's wife had been cheating on him since 2002 and that her daughter's husband left without explanation right after her grandaughter was born.

At this point I had to leave the conversation and go look for more brightly colored ribbon because I had a similar feeling to the time I watched Into the Wild. Everything was a bit too real for comfort.

--buelsy (always here to bring you down!)

once around the track.

For me, blogging is a little bit like exercising. I love both activities. I see them for their one million benefits. But i've also been known to quit. I think the reason that I systematically quit exercising and blogging for three month spurts is because they are hard. Exercise requires physical discipline. Blogging requires mental and emotional discipline. The best blogs provide beautiful prose, outrageous humor, endearing moments and evidence that the blogger is consciously evolving as a person. And let me tell you, honeys, evolving as a person is hard.

Traditionally I'm the sort of person who has a love/hate relationship with things that are difficult. I avoid these activities for a while, generally choosing to watch t.v. or read vampire novels instead. But then eventually, I like to go for it. Point is: I'm going to start blogging again. I need it. And to keep up with this whole exercise/blogging analogy, I might try hitting the elliptical machine too.

MUNDANE NEWS YOU PROBABLY DON'T NEED TO KNOW:
-The semester is almost over.
-I walked through a snowstorm today. It was exhilarating.
-I need to grade approximately 160 papers by Friday.
-I'm going to California on Monday.
-Just read She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. It was wonderful & important.
-I like using this: & instead of this: and.
-I also like bedtime tea.
-And pie. The idea of pie is nice.

--buelsy (goodnight)