goin' to the big city(!)

I went to Cedar Rapids with K today. We shopped at Steve & Barry's, which was a little too good to be true. Everything in the store was nine bucks. I bought three things for my sister, and two things for myself. As long as the purchases for others outweigh purchases for self, I figure that Christmas time personal splurging is okay. S & B's apparently maxed out* our karma though, because we spent the following hour and a half searching for and finding two different Indian restaurants that upon eventual discovery... were closed. We then opted for an establishment called "Sushi House" which made us both want to throw up. The sensation of wanting to throw up led to a rather sketchy stop in Brandon, Iowa (Home of A Very Large Frying Pan), where we peed in a "Kwik Trip" that I'm pretty sure is going to be featured in Saw 5.

It was an extremely fun day.

*Speaking of maxing things out, one of my favorite Life Stories of all time happened in New Orleans in 2006. Clutching neon green hand grenades, SD and myself attempted to rebuild the city of Nola through the purchase of excessively priced souvenirs. At one particular establishment, SD's card was declined. So she tried another. And another. All declined. Although most people would be visibly flustered in this situation, SD calmly sipped her hand grenade, motioned toward my wallet, turned to the cashier and said: Oops. I maxed out.

RANDOM MONDAY NIGHT MUSINGS:

1. Hugs and love for the random girlfriend on The Real Housewives of Orange County who just pointed out that one mother's expectations for her children are particularly gendered in nature.
2. Final grades have been submitted. It was an A- sorta semester. That's what happens when you grade under the influence of Cup Of Joe's.
   
3. There is a sign near the condiments and other food amenities in Maucker Union at UNI that says: We have switched to a "greener" napkin. Please pull carefully as they tear easily. Every time I read this sign, I make a slight alteration in my head: We have switched to a "greener" napkin because they are cheaper. Please pull carefully as they tear easily because they are shitty.
4. Glamour magazine (which is on my highly preferred reading list) did a story about the fiance of a sex offender that was arrested for soliciting sex to a fake 14 year-old virgin on Dateline: To Catch A Predator. The woman decided to stay with the offender despite having two daughters, aged 11 and 13. In fact, she married him during her lunch break less than a month after the Dateline incident went down. My favorite part of the story was on page 187, when the woman revealed that in 2003, she was briefly addicted to crystal meth.
5. Clearly, I am watching the Real Housewives right now. A 21 year old without a job just got a fairly large tattoo with his mother's credit card. The mother asked her 7 year old what he thought about the tattoo. He said: "Um. BAD." Like, duh, Mom.

Speaking of moms, I'm going home tomorrow night. A and I are leaving for Des Moines (where all the prettiest girls live) at 2 a.m. We fly out at 5 and will be in L.A. by 9. I get that prickly feeling under my eyes when I think about it.

--buelsy (back to l.a.)

middle of the night moves.

The semester's over. Well, almost. I have to go to Cup O' Joe tomorrow and finish reading final papers so that I can turn in grades. I actually like grading, though. Yes, I am freaky/cool like that.

Grad school has wrecked havoc on my life in many ways. I'm unable to sleep with out medical aid anymore. When I lay down I can't relax my muscles or my brain. My doings-of-laundry are few and far between. I call my house Messy Manor for a reason. My nails are bitten. My hair is a little bit more gray. My caffeine addiction is infinitely worse (as if anybody though that were possible). My utilities bill is currently late. I think about speech all the time.

But, oh my god. I am so *freaking* happy.

--buelsy (going home on wednesday)

getting jiggy with it.

During the first five weeks of my first semester of UCLA, I was a great student. I remember taking this one class in particular, American Literature 1800-1900. I read all but 1 of the 11 books, foregoing lots of Welcome-To-College activities to do so. Once, I even locked myself in a study room on the first floor of Hedrick Hall, without my phone, without the internet, and without music. I stayed there for three hours in the middle of the day, and I wrote a paper. This behavior is incredible to me now. I was so cool back then. Not so much anymore...

It's been a while since I've posted, which is not a good thing in the grand scheme of life. When I write in this thing, it's usually as an escape-slash-writing-warm-up for thesis work. This means that no posting equals even less thesis writing (yes, there can be negative quantities).

The weekend was chaotic in a typical end-of-semester fashion. Enough said.

I just put on Tegan and Sara's The Con, which has historically transported me into a middle of the night productivity rampage. I'm of the belief that putting music on repeat can do that... literally force your brain to remain in one place long enough to get things done.

OTHER PAST MIDNIGHT MUSICAL REPEATS INCLUDE:

• David Bowie, Portuguesed
• Rachael Yammagata, "1969"
• Nelly, "Ride Wit Me"
• Damien Rice, "The Blowers' Daughter"

Sometimes it's just a matter of finding the right tune.

--buelsy (not gonna sleep tonight)

snow and sniffles.

BUELSY IS BEING SO DAMN DRAMATIC:
I'm in a funk today. I woke up early, taught, imbibed large quantities of coffee, got ready to do the 485 things that are on my to-do list today, and then flopped on the ground (yes, the ground) in front of my tv, watched an episode of "What Not To Wear," slept for a while, and then drove around Christmas Island listlessly. I feel crappy and what's worse, unmotivated and depressed. It's one of those days.

REASONS TO STOP BEING SO DAMN DRAMATIC:
It just started snowing outside. Watching snow fall (the flaky kind of snow, not the demon-ice-slush kind of snow) is therapeutic. It also happens to be Tuesday, the day upon which The Library gives people tacos for two dollars because they are a kind and loving Institution. The Golden Compass comes out this Friday. Most importantly, I get to go home two weeks from tomorrow. You may or may not have guessed that the lack of home in my life right now (it's been four and a half months) may or may not be the root of all problems.

REALIZATION ABOUT DAMN DRAMA:
I think sometimes your body forces you to escape as a last ditch effort to save your brain and your soul. Even if the escape includes very nearly throwing up in Wal-Mart while buying new gloves, it's a good thing.

--buelsy (still eats lunchables)

summer always makes us forget.

Well, it's official: life sucks and will continue to suck for the next four and a half months. It started snowing/icing/hailing/raining early this morning and now Christmas Island is a miserable place to be unless you can stay home, watch movies, and drink hot chocolate. I'm planning to do my fair share of these activities tonight (thank you, Netflix!), but until then, I have to be at school with the baby. Sad times.

RANDOM FACTS FOR THE DAY
1. There are two approaches to eating apples: as a whole, or in pieces. I am an advocate for the latter. It just tastes better.

2. Only 18 days until California.

3. Today has made it clear that I need new snow boots. I have been coveting these, but they are ridiculously expensive, and I've had to settle for putting these on my Christmas List. A calls them sl-uggs. Ha.

4. I failed in my attempt to go to the library. With the all the above mentioned weather suckage, my cozy-ish office is as good as it's gonna get.

5. The plan is going well so far. I like it.

--buelsy (snow in her socks)

parenthesis and pants.

Last night I realized that the last couple of months have been strangely reminiscent of my first year at UCLA, almost completely because of my speechies. I used to lay on the ground in the hallways in Hedrick Hall (3 North, Baby!), and talk to people I loved for hours, regardless of the hours worth of homework I had to do. I'm pretty much doing the same thing now, only I get to sit in my office or peruse the squadroom. Yay for moving up, and yay for reliving the very, very best of times (Cheers, Charles Dickens). In example, last night I almost peed on myself when Anna McD literally appeared out of a trash can and I literally ran away (similar to that time I tried to go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is a horrible, horrible movie). I have not laughed that hard for a long time (or been so near to heart failure). There you go, Emmap. I totally blogged about it.

Christmas break cannot come too soon, but the above realization is going make it full of miss-age. I think that's one of the two best benefits of Facebook: 1) alleviation of school break friend miss-age, and 2) flat out stalking.

Thank God for academia and weeks that kinda* end on Thursday. Only two assignments and fourteen and a half hours left.

*This weekend, we (as in Baby Thesis** and me) are trying a new plan: the library.
**SD is helping me brainstorm for a Thesis name. Sadly, they don't have books of options for these things. Results coming soon.

--buelsy (ready to take a big, fat sleeping pill)

catch up time.

ITEMS I LOVE ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE VEHICLES FOR KETCHUP:
-Hard boiled eggs
-Scrambled eggs
-Eggs in general
-Hot Dogs
-Hamburgers
-Chicken McNuggets
-French Fries
-Sweet Potato Fries
-Hash Browns
-Breakfast Potatoes
-Potatoes in general
-Onion Rings
-Cheese Curds
-John Kerry

The No-Drinking-Till-My-Thesis-Is-Born Idea: Decision made. I will not drink until my thesis is turned in to the graduate college. HOWEVER, there will be three preexisting non inclusions to this plan. 1) 1-2 California Christmas Break Instances (in which it would be socially awkward to politely refuse), 2) Valenslime's Day (what's love without a little drunk?) , and 3) Complete-And-Utter (udder!) Nervous Breakdowns. Important Note: These are not intentions to deviate from The Plan, but rather last resorts designed to prevent my admittance to a mental health facility (we really just can't afford that). Furthermore, these non inclusions will be limited to 2 drinks of choice, and will not resemble binge drinking, which I learned from a persuasive speech in Oral Comm. today is very bad indeed.

In other (less interesting) news, I started taking vitamins again and now my stomach wants to kill me. Literally. It is attempting to end my life right now. Vitamins and I apparently do not get along. Ow.

I'll be in my office until late Thursday evening, doing all of the work that I failed to complete over Thanksgiving "Break." Then on Friday, best day of all days, I will collapse face down for several hours and be assumed comatose by A. Then I will doing Anything-But-School for several more hours. This may or may not include: Christmas Present Shopping, Christmas Card Making, Hat Knitting, and Writing More Blog Posts With Too Many Unnecessary Capitol Letters.

--buelsy (ouch. my life hurts.)

headache city.

I'm playing around with this little idea called: no drinking until the thesis is complete (April 15, 2008 is the current due date). I believe this course of action would be beneficial for four (for four!) reasons:

1) Like babies, theses risk birth defects when their mothers imbibe alcohol (Mine has arguably already incurred damage. I'm sorry, little thesis!)
2) Alcohol kills brain cells. If I have EVER in my life needed brain cells, it's now. I can kill them later... when I have tenure.
3) Think of all the calories! This would be a good way to kick start the diet I've been procrastinating on and lose a good five to ten pounds without going to the gym (cringe).
4) Alchie is expensive. No drinks for five months could translate into lots of other lovely consumerism for Buelsy.

I'm not making a final decision yet, because let's face it, five months is long time to be the Designated Driver, the Sober and Snobby Onlooker, the Polite Decliner, and the Crazed Graduate Student without Release (Well, I take that last one back. I in fact find release in plenty of other things such as Reality TV, Really Good Thai Food, Going to Target, and Online Window Shopping). Thinking very seriously about this whole idea, though... final decision coming soon.

I have SO MUCH TO DO today. First and most importantly: eat some oatmeal and take something pharmaceutic to stop the sensation of entire freeways of cars crashing into my head.

--buelsy (all about the excess)

exciting news...

Thanks to K for the above. How awesome is that? I think I need every article of my clothing to be adorned with this announcement-slash-warning so that the rest of the world will finally understand why I am the way I am.

--buelsy (lots of christmas music, not a lot of productivity)

charles shaw.

We're home from Chicago. A got a keyboard at some super Black Friday sale in Palatine, and now there are gigantic keyboard boxes laying all over the living room. Annie and Tuta (Christmas Island's Most Fashionable Kitty Social Lights) are loving it. They are also loving the Itty Bitty Christmas Tree that is now on one of our side tables. Our tree kicks Charlie Brown's tree's ass (proving pictures coming soon).

I just smelled UCLA. Weird-sad. UCLA is such a phenomenon to me; those were two of my favorite years of my life, and they went so incredibly fast. As (completely) happy as I am now, I still occasionally wonder why I was so powerless in 2006 and unable to force a continuation of that... era of wonderfulness. Thinking about it makes me sad-ish.

Best part about the most recent trip: TRADER JOE'S. We stocked up on Yellow Curry Tuna dinners, Soy Milk, Pesto Pasta, Punkin' Granola, Frozen Asian Chicken Breasteses, Holiday Ginger Cookies, and most importantly... TWO BUCK CHUCK! Well, three buck chuck in Chi-town. There's a reason why they call California the golden state. (Unexpected homesickness. First the UCLA smell, then Trader Joe's and two dollar wine... Simi Valley living sounds pretty good right about now).

I'm having a last hurrah right now on two levels (Have I mentioned that I love enumeration?). First, I'm drinking and being food-merry, for tomorrow I shall diet or die, whichever comes first. Second, I'm doing things that need not be done, like blogging, and Internet window shopping, and watching Blood Diamond and knitting hats in pretty colors. Tomorrow there's going to be a gi-normous change of lifestyle. DIET and SCHOOL are the new hardcore life themes until December 13th, at which point finals are over and Buelsy can start remembering the smell of the Golden State and happy times without what-might-be-tears-and-stress-wrinkles all over her face.

--buelsy (wishes she could be trader jane)

happy turkey.

A and I are in Chicago for Thanksgiving with my extended family. Getting here was anything but pleasant. The four hour trip became seven hours thanks to snow, slush, and my unusually slow storm driving (I'M FROM CALIFORNIA, DAMMIT!). Now that we're here though, we're having good time, except for missing the peeps in Simi Valley pretty bad. Consolation on that note: the Christmas trip is less than a month away. Freak out on that note: Two thesis chapter due dates are less than a month away. Do we hear an eek? Eek.

The Midwest Winter Bulge is rearing its ugly head, which means that after this trip, I will be eating tuna fish, oatmeal and lean cuisines like nobody's business. This also means that I will be having an extraordinary, pants-buttons-bursting goodbye session with all other foods this afternoon.

Hillary Clinton on Sunday. There are benefits to living in Christmas Island.

--buelsy (has a date with a boy and a bird).

roller coaster madness.

Wow. Back from NCA, which was a pretty cool and also pretty intense experience. Nonstop brain explosion for 5 days. A and I tried to decide on descriptive themes for the experience. Mine? NCA 2007: How to save $175*. His? NCA 2007: Resort to Violence. HA. We're heading back to Chicago on Wednesday for Thanksgiving. Getting ready for yet another trip means that my life should be ranking about an 8 on the buelsy productivity scale today. However, there are other things I would like to do that are neither prudent nor affordable, but nonetheless very very tempting.

*I definitely did not register for this experience. I knew the "poor grad student card" would serve me well some day.

LIST OF THINGS THAT WOULD BE LOVELY IF DONE TODAY:
1. Shop for new clothes. I need long sleeves!
2. Watch three to four movies.
3. Put up Christmas lights and Christmas tree.
4. Knit hats.
5. Make artsy-fartsy Christmas cards.
6. Work on new Oral Comm. packet for Fall 2008.

LIST OF THINGS THAT MUST BE DONE FOR LIFE SURVIVAL TODAY:
1. Clean Messy Manor and the clothes of its inhabitants.
2. Work her not-super-skinny ass out.
3. Edit Methods Chapter for C-H.
4. Grade.
5. Read/Write Poli. Comm. textbook review.
6. Pay utilities bill.

Thankfully, there are a few cross over things on these lists that must be done but are also mildly enjoyable. Like working out, grading and paying utilities bills. Good places to get started.

--buelsy (she thinks she can, she thinks she can).

insane or just sleep deprived? you decide.

I feel like I'm losing it. I'm misspelling my favorite words, I'm walking into rooms with purposes that I forget the minute I get through the door, I'm getting teary-eyed when I retell duos I watched over the weekend, I'm writing checks for my utilities bill and not mailing them, I'm thinking about going to bed even though I still need to plan my class, hem my pants, pack for NCA and paint my nails (the important things, people!).

The weekend was okay. Both very frustrating and very fun for the usual respective reasons. I kinda of fell in love with the University of Wisconsin, Madison. Coolest town ever. If the idea of getting a PhD in the next few years continues to amuse me, I'm going to apply there. Let me warn you though, dear readers (all three of you), the idea is verging on NOT amusing right about now.

Next year is pretty much worked out. Arguably the coolest thing that has happened in my life so far.

--buelsy (too bad she still has to write that thesis)

side note(s).

I'm all about soothing life's traumas (see previous post) with animated movies. Watching Flushed Away right now. With Hot Wings/Blue Cheese Doritos. Which are fab.

Bee-Tee-Dub (if you get that sort of lingo, I love you), I was just realizing to A that I'm only going to be home for three days over the two weeks, so if I'm not so much about the updating, this is why:

Friday-Sunday (late, late): Tournament in Wisconsin
Monday: The First of Three Days Home
Tuesday: Tournament in Minnesota
Wednesday-Sunday: NCA
Monday-Tuesday: The Second and Third of Three Days Home
Wednesday-Friday: Chicago for Thanksgiving
Friday-Sunday: Coma-Like Sleep

At this point? Either I'm going to have to become an incredible Work-While-Traveling sort of person, or my thesis (and graduate career in general) is just a figment of imagination.

I need to do laundry. I think I'll pass out first.

--buelsy (bye for now)

sleepy face.

I want this bag. It is very rad. The unfortunate thing is that it's only offered with the purchase of Method products. Don't get me wrong--I'm a huge fan of Method, I think they are everything that is right and hip about environmentalism. However, I'm not really in the financial state to be spending big bucks (yes, $20 is big bucks) at this point in my life. It's the first week of the month. I'm still recovering from the trauma of a rapidly emptied bank account.

I'm also still recovering from the trauma of turning in a paper for Critical Methods. I should keep working on it, because it was not nearly up to par, but I just can't... I need to take the weekend off (and by that I mean go to a Tournament and work on a million other things).

Anyways. I should put some make up on. I overslept and rushed in to Oral Comm. borderline late. My hair was like (insert freakiest idea possible) and I definitely had a deodorant mark on my shirt. I think I scared the kids. How's that for a teaching strategy? If you can't get 'em to respect you, just show up in your pajamas.

--buelsy (late to a meeting)

getting nothing done.

I can not even express how much I need to take a shower right now.

--buelsy (brutal, dude)

two dollar tacos.

This has already been a hard week to get through (yes, I realize it just began), and it's going to get even harder. Paper due tomorrow night, another paper due the night after that (albeit much less of a big deal), a tournament this weekend, a tournament next Tuesday, NCA from Wednesday-Sunday, and then Chicago for Thanksgiving the next Wednesday. OH EM GEE.

So that's that. Heart failure.

Samson by Regina Spektor: Best song ever.

--buelsy (in the throes of academic torture)

seven is the number.

THINGS I ENJOY:

1. Vanilla scented trash bags.
2. Doing dishes instead of writing theses.
3. Smelling my cats.
   
4. Pink hats with ear flaps.
   
5. Fitness magazines.
   
6. Planning future Apple purchases.
   
7. Classy Home Depots.

THINGS I VERY MUCH DO NOT ENJOY:

1. Daylight Savings Time.
2. Sleeping on the floor.
3. Coffee jitters on Sunday nights.
4. Following the advice in Fitness magazines.
5. Spending money on my car.
6. Thinking about PhD programs.
   
7. Regular Home Depots.

--buelsy (has the blues)

boo-yah.

This is very, very rad. I think along with singing, graphic design is the talent I envy the most.

I had a little bit of a break-through yesterday in the category of not smoking. I was standing in the elevator and when some random person got on at the first floor*, I thought: You reek of cigarettes. Reek! REEK! Up until now, the smell of cigarettes was like a particularly cruel waft of forbidden fruit. And don't get me wrong, it's not like the smell of cigarettes bother me now. I just don't really want to smoke them. It was hard to stop smoking in the Midwest, mostly because people still smoke in bars. At least here in Christmas Island. I think I made it though. Cigarettes reek.

*In a three story building, elevator use should be contained to basement to third floor trips only (barring special situations in which stair use is physically impossible or unwise. Like sciatica.).

I'm being snuggled by two very neglected kitties right now. It is lovely, and everything that Friday Funday is about. Oh, and Vietnamese food. And a Netflix movie called "The Incident at Loch Ness," which has the potential to be a fab duo. Speaking of duos, GO PANTS! (And by pants I mean my speechies who are in Peoria, IL this weekend, undoubtedly tearing it up). Exciting stuff.

I have a crush on: Michael Keaton. Almost time to watch my favorite/most embarrassing movie ever, Jack Frost. On that note...

Now that Halloween is over, all of the stores have begun to set up Christmas trees and Christmas merchandise at an alarming rate. There's really only a month of school left if you don't count Thanksgiving break. I remember when I was first at UCLA, academic quarters felt like forever, which was a good thing because I was having such a great time. At this time each year I would take comfort in the fact that there were still 2 whole quarters left! The fact that the speed of time increases with age is what fascinates me the most about life, and makes me the most sad. I can already sense the incredulity that must accompany turning forty: Already? Already?

Well, that was a depressing tangent. Back to nicer things, like Gilmore Girls reruns that A lets me watch without too much grumbling. He loves me.

--buelsy (no thesis today, folks)

holy november.

I have these shoes. I love them, but the heel on the left shoe has a distinct squeak. I notice it every day when I'm walking through the hall from Lang Hall to Maucker Union to get coffee. To be honest, it makes me feel a little psychotic.

This is quite possibly the most wonderful thing that's happened this week (along with that whole thesis getting signed off thing). It's free, which throws me into a mental state of anxious frenzy: how can something this great be free? when will they start charging? when will the bandwidth start f-ing up? why can't people such as myself just be happy and go with it?

Apartment Therapy: aptly named.

Bowling tonight, for potential embarrassment and old time's sake. Something to write on hand: say no to 25 cent hot dogs and 1 dollar beer. Check.

--buelsy (new music makes everything better)

word association.

I like Google's dependable sense of holiday spirit.

As you may or may not have realized, I had a momentary break through at the laundry room last night and consequentially felt very confident for my Prospectus Defense today. It went pretty well. My thesis is semi-different than what I thought it was, but in a good way. I have more clarity and direction now. Yay. I also have some catch up work to do on my supposedly three-fourths of the way done Method Chapter. Boo.

Speaking of "boo," happy Halloween. There's a party in the squadroom, complete with streamers, costumes, and an ouija board. I, in the spirit of adding to the party, am going to bring a hefty bit of grading that needs to be done by tomorrow morning.

Speaking of tomorrow morning, effectively, there are only two more days of Oral Communication to teach. The rest are "speech days," when they get to do the talking. There would be three left, but I'm tapping into professional liberty and canceling class so that K, A and I can drive to NCA in Chicago a day early.

Speaking of early, I want to take a muscle relaxer because my back has functionally "quit," but I have to wake up early, and in my world, muscle relaxers last about fifteen hours.

Speaking of hours, only 24 hours until Friday Funday, complete with Netflix, wine, vietnamese/thai food, and lots and lots of brain cell inactivity.

--buelsy (where's the candy?)

wash and dry.

The laundry room in my complex is the absolute best place to get work done--at least during dinner time on Tuesday nights when it's completely empty and lacks the a.d.d. enticements of Messy Manor and my office. The sound of the washers and dryers is comforting too. Alone, but not really. As far as prospectus prepping goes, maybe self-destructive patterns really can be broken. I'm remembering that I love to analyze political campaigns, and I didn't even have to take any stimulants.

--buelsy (diggin' for quarters)

indulgence is the word of the day.

I always write after I eat at McDonald's. I think its because facets of indulgence go together. Physical indulgence... mental indulgence... emotional indulgence... and the cycle continues. Really, though, I can't blame myself for succumbing to McDonald's. For that I blame the man who invented the Sausage McGriddle.

GRAND PLANS FOR TUESDAY, OCTOBER 29

• Mail out Netflix
• Indulge in self-pity about missing the Office and Weeds for the past 2 weeks
• Coach
• Do laundry
• Grade Reading Objectives
• Make Grade Reports
• Try to avoid prepping for my Prospectus Defense
• Continue avoidance by eating 2 dollar tacos at The Library
• Indulge in a teary-eyed, hand-wringing, A-hugging nervous breakdown because I haven't prepared for my Prospectus Defense
• Eat lemon sorbet and gummy bears as a metaphorical last meal
• Decide the world really isn't that bad and prep for my Prospectus Defense*
  

*Acknowledgment of self-destructive life patterns is clearly not enough to break them.

OTHER NEWS ON THE BUELSY FRONT

1. Generally speaking, whenever I leave school mid-morning on Tuesday or Thursday (with the purpose of picking up A and jointly consuming food that may or may not be McDonald's), I'm forced to park in the far away lot when I return. Without fail, by the time I haul my lazy ass back over to Lang Hall, there's an empty spot ten feet away from the front door, emblazoned with the message: Suck on that, biatch.
2. For the last couple of weeks, I have literally been too stressed out to sleep. I lay down and close my eyes, but even though my mind and body are exhausted, I can't unclench my muscles, I can't stop thinking about snippets of speeches and theses, or about how much my eyeballs hurt (yes, my eyeballs). Enter Ambien. We'll see how it goes.
   
3. The Fox News motto "We report. You decide." causes me to literally laugh out loud.
4. This is very, very disturbing. Thanks to JAD for pointing me to a reason to throw up the McDonald's I just ate that does not include eating disorders.
   
5. I think it would be interesting to do a demographic study of spectrum of individuals opposed to Starbucks. Maybe I will eventually do this study if my life as a researcher is not nipped in the proverbial bud tomorrow.
6. Boo to Mimi Smartypants for publishing pieces of wonderful so few and far between.
   
7. Somebody near and dear to me lost somebody near and dear to her over the weekend. My hugs go out to her. The situation has made me realize that the Midwest is a facade. Because tragic things don't happen as frequently as they do in Los Angeles, it's easy to believe that they don't exist. But they do, and this makes me miss everybody I love who is far away.
   

--buelsy (48 days from home)

sunday crunch time.

I've gotten into a bad habit of eating at McDonald's. It's close to my house, it's super cheap, and sometimes... $1 double cheeseburgers just taste good. It's also comforting on days like today, when I feel like I'm drowning in the world. Nothing like a little saturated fat to keep you afloat. Really, though, it's Sunday afternoon and I've accomplished virtually nothing this weekend. At least in the productive, academic sense. Or the productive pay-your-bills, get-your-oil-changed, do-your-laundry, buy-your-cat-food sense. On the Buelsy Productivity Scale, it was a 0. Time for a heart-weakening eight hour catch up session.

I did see Snakemouth, which was wonderful and bizarre. Wonderful because I love her, and bizarre because it felt like the past year and a half hadn't even existed. At one point on Thursday evening, I could have sworn that Gayley Avenue was down the block and around the corner, that JAD was across the hall, and that imbibing alcohol was a deliciously bad idea because I had to work at Expo in the morning. I understand the concept of Glory Days now.

I also saw an improv. show where A was working, went to a Capoeira performance*, caught up with K and CT (who FELL DOWN at said Capoeira show), and was prescribed lots of pharmaceuticals to make me feel less sad about developing sciatica at such a young age.

*Totally rad. I want to join. Not sure if they take sciatic neurotics.

My prospectus meeting is on Wednesday. I'm going to go hyperventilate now.

--buelsy (speeches to write, bills to pay)

bullet point magic.

• I like to make potentially fun days in my life even MORE fun by also scheduling something undoubtedly horrific for the same day. Case in point: Next Wednesday is Halloween. I love Halloween. Halloween is potentially a very fun time. Next Wednesday is also my Thesis Prospectus Defense. This will definitely be horrific. Nonetheless, I think the logic is like this: After completing the Defense, I will be so relieved and carefree that the potential for fun on Halloween night will be increased by at least fifty percent.
• My bed popped (the undeniable down-side of sleeping on an airbed and owning cats), and I've been sleeping on the floor. It's really not too bad because I'm usually so tired that I could fall asleep on a log in the middle of a lake if I had to, but the ensuing headaches make me want to pick up said log and jam it into my eyeball.
• Dooce is pretty rad.
  
• Snakemouth is coming tomorrow. Plans for presenting Christmas Island at its finest:

1. George Wyth Park Hike and picnic
   
2. Downtown Christmas Island Window Shopping Extravaganza
3. Blessings II Go
4. Hornsby's Crisp Apple Hard Cider*
5. Cottonwood Canyon Spicy Hashbrown Skillets
   

*Hornsby's Crisp Apple Hard Cider is an excellent way to experience fall. It is also an excellent way to consume 600-800 calories within 45 minutes. It is also an excellent way to make your teeth very sensitive for 3-4 days. It is entirely worth it.

• California is on fire, but I wish I were there.

--buelsy (floor sleeper extraordinaire)

weekend edition #2

Originally composed by A and buelsy at Toad's on Main Street, in downtown Christmas Island:

REASONS WHY MCDONALD'S SHOULD SERVE BREAKFAST 24-7

1. Because it's amazing.
2. Equal breakfast opportunity for night owls who wake up after 10:30 a.m., but zonk out again before 4:00 a.m. (Nearly every college student in America)
3. Decrease in road rage in evening rush hour commuters who consume Micky D's. Sugar makes you high.
   
4. The enticement of breakfast at night will actually lure drunkies away from bars before they drink beyond the point of no return.

REASONS WHY MCDONALD'S SHOULD POTENTIALLY NOT BREAKFAST 24-7

1. America becomes even more obese and eventually explodes.
2. Mom and pop diners lose customers. Who wants to eat a slightly-more-expensive breakfast with mom and pop when you can have a Sausage McGriddle?
3. The increase of supply will decrease the demand for McDonald's breakfast. It just tastes better when it's hard to get.
   
4. Quality decreases by an even greater degree of mass production of breakfast sandwiches.

SLIGHTLY NON-SEQUITOR, BUT VERY CLEAR CONCLUSION TO THE DEBATE: Sausage McGriddles. They make us happy.

In other news, the weekend went by fast. I've only crossed off about two of the thirty things on my agenda (thank you, Google Calendar). My propsectus has to be out by tomorrow. Messy Manor is even messier than usual. A is glum. I guess I'm a little glum too. Sundays are just like that.

--buelsy (but look at the trees!)

rest in peace.

TV-links got shut down.
Sad times for Generation X.

--buelsy (not sure how to proceed)

weekend edition #1

Friday Funday was alright—it could have been better. I ended up working on c-h’s paper until about six thirty a.m., and consequentially zonked out until mid-afternoon. Come to find out, the sleep schedule screw-up may have been in vain, because c-h didn’t even take the masterpiece on her debate trip (the whole point of finishing by eight a.m. Friday morning). It is still sitting untouched in her mailbox. In response to this situation, I kind of want to punch myself in the face. But moving on.

Several good things did happen during FF: (1) Target shopping, (2) J won his first football game, (3) Package from Bare Escentuals was finally* retrieved, and (4) A made a dinner that was not Thai, but still fab.

*Read post about the horrors of the U.S. package delivery system and weep.

A LINE FROM A SURVEY I TOOK IN 2005

"6. macs: if i could dedicate my body to the study of macs, i would."

I still feel that way.

CONCLUSIONS

• I like reading NY Times retractions. Nothing like the mistakes of the mighty.
  
• The Con by Tegan and Sara is brilliant. Best songs: The Con, Nineteen, Dark Come Soon, and Call It Off.
  
• Bare Escentuals: totally worth the over-pricing.
• I am addicted to Ambesol. This is because during stressful (all) times I chew my mouth to shreds. Neither of these conclusions can be good.
  
• My parents have broken into the world of text messaging.
  
• 43things.com is nice, but needs better aesthetics.
  
• I cannot get through another day of my life without purchasing the MLA Style Manual and Guide for Scholarly Publishing. This is sad because it costs $23.75, which is exactly $1.25 short of qualifying for FREE Super Saver Shipping.
• I need warmer socks.
  
• Fall in the Midwest: beautiful.
• Thai food tonight at Messy Manor.
  

--buelsy (against cold ankles)

muses: lost and found.

I still remember the first time I pulled an all-nighter. It was my first year at Moorpark College, and I was writing a twenty-five page paper for a history class. It was pretty easy, really. Textbook regurgitation, another paper for reference, low teacher expectations. I made a pot of coffee in my mom and dad’s kitchen, and drank the whole thing out of a sparkly plastic travel mug with flowers all over it.

Staying up all night was exciting back then. I was just discovering how quiet things get and how loud houses creak. How at a certain hour, not even the latest of night owls is on instant messenger. How typing the last words of a paper at the crack of dawn and knowing that you made it, that you escaped the deadline, is one of the best feelings ever.

My dad wouldn’t let me drive to school the next day even though I was eighteen. He was convinced that all-nighters equaled car crashes. He drove me to my nine a.m. class and waited for me to turn in my paper. When I got back home, I went into my room and laid on my bed. I didn’t even pull the covers down. I curled up, like a cat, with my grey hoodie covering my head and my converse still tied. My bedspread was cool against my cheek. For one moment, I felt like a champion.

--buelsy (not so spry these days)

caramel apple coma.

My new favorite thing to do is print out my Google Calendar and cross things out with blue marker when I finish them. The physicality of it makes me feel like I'm actually getting somewhere in life. I also like caramel apples. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

HUGE PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD: package delivery. Let's face it, most of the package-receiving world works from roughly nine o'clock until five o'clock Monday through Friday. It is very likely that they will not be home to receive their packages. Worse yet, a missed package generally not available to be picked up until shortly before the pick-up location closes. This creates a very small window of pick-up opportunity, often resulting in two or three more days of this unproductive cycle. Based on these sad facts, I propose a new system of package delivery. When something is ordered online or via catalog (who does that?), the eager customer will be given the opportunity to specify their package for "delivery" or "pick up." "Delivery" will be an exact replica of the crappy system as it now exists, available for use by those few lucky souls who are happy with the status quo. In the "pick up" option, however, the package will come to the nearest UPS, FedEx or Royal Air Mail* location. Upon its arrival, the customer will be emailed, and they can pick it up at their convenience... say, their lunch break that very day. I don't know about you, but I firmly believe this change would make the world a better place. In fact, let's move it to Number One on the Que of World Change. Forget Africa. Forget world peace.

* I ordered something from England. It's brilliant. Check it out.

PLANS FOR FRIDAY, MY DESIGNATED DAY FOR "MENTAL SANITY"

• Make a small exception to the Friday-No-School Rule and work on c-h stuff until approximately 3:00 a.m.
• Sleep.
• Work out.
• Watch Gilmore Girls while doing Girl Stuff.
• Do Girl Stuff: take a bath, do nails, put on good smelling lotion, blow dry hair, apply new (and over-priced) make-up, put on an "outfit."
• Girl Stuff pretty much includes everything in the way of personal care that is usually sacrificed for academia.
  
• Wander the aisles of Target with no general purpose.
• Call J.
  
• Call Snakemouth.
• Call San Diego.
  
• Eat Thai Food with A.
• Drink wine.
• Play with cats.
  
• Watch Transformers and Knocked Up (Thank you, Netflix. I do adore you.)
• Sleep more.

I love Fridays, but they go by very fast. Kind of like summers and Christmas. They are glimpses of the nice parts of life.

--buelsy (back to the books for twelve more hours)

break-ups and blogsounds.

I woke up this morning, went to take a shower, and discovered that there was no water to be had in Messy Manor (apart from A's many and scattered half-full water bottles). It really threw me off. Kinda like getting up on the wrong side of the bed. Only the shower. In consequence, I have a paper to re-write, five million things to read, three classes to plan, and a prospectus to finish editing. In short: Good bye, weekend. It was nice when we were together. Maybe it'll work out again someday. But right now, I think we should just see other people. You? You'll see happy people with lots of free time. Me? I'll see dead or distant writers who fail to communicate clearly. It's okay. Better to have loved and lost, right?

MENTAL DEVIATIONS FROM WRITING THE UNSUCCESSFUL PAPER FOR C-H:

1. Most over-used word in scholarly writing: notion

2. Favorite new scholarly writers: Moya and Blankenship

• How much would you love it if more authoritative sources talked in every day language? (AKA colloquialism as a marketing strategy.) I'll write about it.

• For instance, imagine a little window popping up on your computer that reads: “Firefox doesn’t know what to do :( ”

• I find great comfort/joy in adding words to my Microsoft Word Dictionary. Language can be conquered! Boo-yah!
  

• In California I drive slowly (occasionally) out of fear of getting egregiously expensive tickets. In Iowa, I drive slowly (almost always) because I’m afraid I’m going to hit a deer.

--buelsy (one foot in the shower)

tough times.

Next time you're in graduate school, think back to these words of wisdom: Doing two years of graduate work in a little over one year sounds like a great idea! It also may kill you! Have fun!

--buelsy (hindsight really is twenty-twenty)

maniacal candy eating gets the job done.

PARTICULARLY RELEVANT ISSUES FOR OCTOBER 16, 2007:

1. I can't stop eating candy. Every time I think I'm over candy, the "over-ness" only lasts for about five minutes, and then an alert in my brain goes off saying (in a startling good impression of Willy Wonka): "There are things in this world made purely of sugar! You're an adult! You can consume them whenever you want!" And then I cave. I mean, come on... it's candy.

2. I love blogs--I need blogs, but I have found it nearly impossible in the past to maintain one. Nonetheless, at this point in my life, when thesis writing is pretty much like breathing (if you're not doing anything else, you better be doing this!), I've found that non-academic writing is actually a pretty good mental warm-up to the beautiful headache that is Judith Butler, Gayatri Spivak, Karlyn Kohrs Campbell and me. That being said, I'm going to make a concerted effort to start blogging on a semi-regular, if not actually regular basis. We'll see.

LIFE HAPPENINGS WORTHY OF MENTION:

• Plane tickets to California for Christmas: Purchased.

• Wikipedia research on the making of the Internet: Contrary to popular belief, Al Gore did not invent it. Guess he got the Nobel Prize for something else.

• Snakemouth (my partner in crime) is coming to visit me in a little more than a week: Ridiculous amounts of excitement.

• Prospectus Committee Meeting: Scheduled for Wednesday, October 31st at 1:30 p.m. There will be candy.

• Gave in and bought new make-up from Bare Escentuals: UPS, move your butt.

QUANDARIES AND CONJECTURE:

Q: I need new music.
C: Multiple choice testing is ridiculous.
Q: The bathroom is very far from my office. This is a quandary without remedy, but still worthy of public gripe.
C: I have the best speech team in the world (They virtually destroyed at a TCFL tournament in MN today). I heart them.
Q: There's a paper that needs to be written. Sadly, by me.
C: Loving A even more than usual.

--buelsy (walking in socks at the university of northern iowa).